Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
well you can't waste a boner
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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