is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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