Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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