hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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