just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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