Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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