we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
