ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
