To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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