You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
