let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
