I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
