I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
