Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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