be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
