Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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