you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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