College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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