I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
