You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
