im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
