none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
