dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
