woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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