Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
