Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
