do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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