I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
