i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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