ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Found the puke drawer
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
