my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
