I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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