There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
