dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
