It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
