You made me cry and you don't even care
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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