Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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