that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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