I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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