I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
