His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
