remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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