they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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