so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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