How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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