Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
