her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is wine microwaveable?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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