either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
