just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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