brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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