I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
