would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
