My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize