i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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