I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
