Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
