Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
