if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
