so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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