Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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